I left a job I had been in for 12 years. It was safe, it was easy, it was paid well. It was probably killing me. I have taken another job 2100km away. The job isn’t so important though. I am here in a city I do not know, with my family half a continent away, and I am seeing how it goes. There is no threshold for success, there is only discovering what I am capable of after years of being less than I know I am. I miss my family but this is not forever and they support what I’m doing. I discovered the Holstee Manifesto when I was deep in the hole at my former job and the suffocating logic of “stick with safety and pay the bills.” So this opportunity came up, I went for it, I got it. THIS IS YOUR LIFE.

I have never been much of a risk taker but I don’t see this as a risk. The move is the first step: GETTING LOST WILL HELP YOU FIND YOURSELF. I don’t know what will happen but it doesn’t matter because I will deal with it. I will open all the boxes in the back of my brain that I stored when “growing up” took over from “growing.” When a “transitional job” became a “career.”  When what I wanted was edged to the back of the queue behind what I should do.

Maybe I’ll finish that book. Maybe I’ll start playing the banjo (I now have one!). Maybe I’ll learn to let go of guilt. Maybe I’ll follow my impulses instead of second guessing them: START DOING THE THINGS YOU LOVE.

The Manifesto hangs on the wall across from my bed. Different phrases jump out at me every time I look at it. That is what draws me to it: IF YOU DON’T LIKE SOMETHING, CHANGE IT. The Manifesto is not an instruction, it is a reflection; you find in it what you already knew but had lost sight of.

So here I am. A tiny apartment, a few things, and me. It is scary and ecstatic and lonely and real: it is the most important thing I’ve done.


– Paul