I am an indecisive person. In fact, that’s probably the only statement I can make about myself with confidence because it seems my interests, devotions and desires are constantly changing. It can be discouraging when something I enjoy doing no longer holds my interest, or something I’ve worked towards ends up being not what I expect. Acknowledging that sometimes feels like personal defeat. I graduated in 2008 with a liberal arts degree after four years of uncertainty and lots of academic interests. After a couple years in the workforce I ran with whatever focused interest I had accumulated and went back to school for a degree in nursing. I felt my life needed direction and convinced myself it was the path for me. I also worried I wasn’t living up to my potential, or meeting other’s expectations of me. So now 8 months into my nursing career and I’m still not sure I am in the right profession. I am getting burned out. I am lazy on my days off because I need a whole day to recover. I feel like I’m helping others get healthy at the expense of my own health and well-being. Most days I can’t decide if I’m content or miserable. Now I am saving up for massage therapy school in hopes of finding a better work-life balance.
I also traveled a lot during college and felt incredibly liberated during those adventures. I put myself outside of my comfort zone and tried new things, explored new places, learned new languages and met people I’d otherwise never meet. It’s been years since I’ve had an experience like that and my mind and body crave it.
The Holstee Manifesto is both permission and a kick in the behind. It’s permission to quit my job when I decide I’ve had enough and not feel like a failure. It’s permission to put myself first and to not care about what others think, to seek out my passions, and to change my mind and to change it again after that. It’s permission to make mistakes and find my way through trial and error. The Holstee Manifesto is a push off the couch and away from the computer screen. The swift kick in the behind to get out and do something. A reality check that life happens whether I plan for it or not, and the more thinking, planning and analyzing I do, the less living I do. So here is to life, living it and loving it. Thanks!
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